Looking On The Bright Side: Turning Dread Into Excitement

I'm quite guilty for being one of those people that get awfully jealous of what other people have and taking what I have for granted. It's a terrible habit of mine that I often find myself doing whenever I scroll through Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, and even when I'm catching up with friends. Yes, I know, "don't compare your behind-the-scenes other's highlight reel" etc etc... I don't know about anyone else, but that's really much easier said than done. Right now, I'm still working towards a big goal/turning a new chapter, which involves a lot of work, uncertainty, and anticipation, so I often envy the people who seem like they're happy and carefree (which I know is most probably not the case).

My one year countdown 'till my college graduation has officially begun and I'm dreading a lot of things that I have to do before September 2016. But with the overwhelming number of items on my imaginary to-do list (I should really make a physical one though), it's not a good idea to go on about them with dread, because it's my last year of university and I want to harbour as less bad vibes as I can. So I decided to take a list of the things I'm dreading in the next semester and make them more exciting. My Negative Nancy ways end today! Plus, I'm not sure if I've mentioned this in Sabeezknees, but I've definitely said this on my Xanga blog (LOL.!!!!!) but I find lists therapeutic.

Moving to a STRICTLY all-girls dorm with insane rules like midnight curfew.
The bad: That's not even all. Front doors are locked at midnight and unlocked at 6:30am, I need to ask permission to have friends over, and I have a keycard that signs me in and out of the dorm. If let's say I sleepover at a friend's and I don't sign in after 2 days, the dorm contacts the school and the school calls my parents. I was supposed to live with a good friend of mine in an apartment but my dad didn't trust me enough, for personal reasons. I am a grownass 21 year old woman and I don't need this shit on my senior year of college, seriously. PLS GIVE ME A BREAK
The good: 
- My old dorm has gone to shit since they changed management so I've been itching to leave for awhile
- This new dorm is a lot closer to school and the city = commute won't be as bad
- It has a cafeteria that serves meals for breakfast and dinner = less cooking for me!
- I'm not much of a party animal anyway so most nights (maybe all except like 4 or 5, really haha) curfew won't matter
- I have a boyfriend and I'm gonna be real, I barely any friends to invite over to my dorm anyway haha

Unpacking my stuff in the new dorm and doing laundry with my mom. 
The bad: My mom has this special superpower wherein when she stresses out, everyone around her is stressed out too. And it doesn't take much to stress the woman out. For weeks now she's been constantly reminding me that once we got to Tokyo we'll need to wash all the clothes and sheets I own because she doesn't trust my laundry skills (which she really doesn't give me enough credit for!) So I predict 3-days of pure stress shared between me and my mom.
The good: My mom's freakin' flying with me to Tokyo just to help me unpack and do laundry! I'm so glad she agreed to do it because really, I would have lived out of my balikbayan boxes 'till I graduated. Thank you, Mama!

Going back to school.
The bad: UUUUUuuuUuUUUUuUUUghhhhh I've just had SUCH a great summer and thinking about going back to the school grind is making me stress already. Exams, groupwork, homework.. No thanks, BYE
The good: I just need to finish this semester and I've got one more semester to graduate!

Going back to Tokyo. 
The bad: How much of a spoiled brat do I sound like right now? Yes, I know studying abroad is an opportunity that a lot of people don't get, and I really do feel #blessed that I get to do this. But Tokyo can be such a lonely place at times and unlike studying in America or Europe, you never feel at home here. I've been here for 3 years and the feeling of being a foreigner has not dissipated in the slightest. I sound like a foreigner, I look like one, I act like one, I dress like one, I stick out like a sore thumb and I'm reminded of that everyday as soon as I step out of my door.
The good: Tokyo is an interesting city and I do have a few friends here that I enjoy hanging out with. Also, I may not know a lot about the city but I can get around. Not a lot of my friends have visited me, but when they do I'm always excited to show them around. And of course, the food is great-- especially when my dad comes to town and I get fancy meals for the free free! #Dadavisitdinners!

One of my short-term goals is to revamp my blog (again). I just feel like my blog voice (does that make sense?) needs a bit of changing because I want it to be a " this is my life and I thought these things are shareable" blog but lately I've been being more, "hey guys, here are my restaurant recommendations" blog. I love food, but I don't want it to be the main topic in this blog. I'M MORE THAN JUST A #FATTY4LYF :( I was thinking of splurging a little and buy my own theme; so stay tuned!

So here's to the last year in university-- it's gonna be one helluva ride! *clink* (it's box wine in a mason jar because I'm a poor college student wanna-be hipster I don't even like alcohol I don't drink box wine this is all a lie)

No comments:

Post a Comment

Talk to me!